Dealing with strong, painful emotions can be overwhelming and even lead to thoughts that your situation is so unfixable that the only way out is suicide. That is NOT true nor the case and every situation is either fixable or something you CAN get through. But when you’re in a high-stress emotional state, we can no longer think logically and do what we can to help ourselves. So the first thing we must do is get ourselves calm down enough to be able to use a coping skill.
* Breathing out longer than you breathe in actually activates your parasympathetic nervous system!
Anxiety is your sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) setting off all the alarms, while breathing like this will set the parasympathetic system (“rest and digest”) into action shutting off the alarms and settling your nerves.
Other things that help: laughing, checking out what’s going on around you (moving head and eyes to orient to your surroundings), getting curious about something. (via notyrqueer)
Note: if you have any medication for anxiety that you are prescribed to take in high stress situations (as opposed to a set time and dosage you do every day on a routine) and you have not reached your maximum prescribed dosage, this might be a good time to take it. But only if you need it.
—-
Once you’ve gotten yourself into a calmer state, we can start to use what’s called our wise mind. Basically we have our emotional mind (which I’m sure we’re all quite familiar with) and our logical or rational mind. Wise mindis the idea that neither one nor the other, but both of these combined is the best way to think about what to do and how to react. If we just used our emotional mind, we’ll get lost in our pain. If we only use our logical mind, we’ll be invalidating our emotions and ignoring that those are important and valid and must be included in how you choose to respond or see a situation. So when you use your wise mind, you can make a more balanced decision.
Learn more about wise mind here, here, and here.
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** Once you are able to be a bit more calm and use your wise mind, you should do what you can to ease whatever it is that is upsetting you. First ask yourself, “Is this the right time to deal with this?” For example, do you need to go to sleep soon so you are fully rested? Would doing so disturb others around you (like doing loud activities while others are sleeping)? Would it negatively affect you to do this right now (the person who is angry is still angry and needs space)? If after consider if it really is the right time to do this right now, and you think it is, then it’s time to fix the problem.
Is it homework? Start working on it. Procrastination will only increase the anxiety as it puts more and more pressure on you the less time you have. (Remember to breathe.) Is it chores? Go get them done. Is it a problem with a friend or loved one? If they are open to talking about it at this time, try that. (There could be a whole post on relationship effectiveness but you can find some information here and here.) Is it making some phone calls? Get them done.
Note: It is entirely okay to ask for help if these things are too overwhelming to do alone. Ask a trusted friend or family member to either sit with you while you make a call, for example, so you can look to them if you need to know what to say or for reassurance that you’re doing okay. Maybe have someone sit near you while you do homework so you know you’re safe. If you can, have someone work through it with you to lessen the load.
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† If the problem can’t be fixed right this minute, or it is not the right time to do it, then do what you can to prepare yourself. One way you can do this is through radical acceptance. That means to accept your situation as it is, that you cannot change it right now, and you will have to deal with it. With radical acceptance, you can look at what’s in front of you and really give yourself the ability to problem solve. If you focus too much on what life should be like, or what should have happened instead, or what you or someone else should have done, then you are not looking at the problem in front of you. You are trying to change the past so that it’s not a problem anymore. But the fact is that it is, and it’s upsetting you, so you have to accept that it is happening so that you can do something about it.
Learn more about radical acceptance here and here.
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‡ If there is nothing you can do right now, then it’s time to focus on what we can do, which is to improve the moment and make “right now” better. The way we do this is to use a coping skill. This means choosing to do activities or actions that make you feel better either by soothing yourself through the senses, being kind to yourself, doing something that can affect the mind through the body (like exercise or calming tea), or distracting yourself. There is more to it than that, but for right now, pick through the list below and choose a few that might help you and remember them. (Maybe keep a journal of things that end up helping you so you can refer back to it in a high emotional state.)
Click here to see the rest of the list. —- I know sometimes it can feel like coping skills won’t help and that because they’re not fixing the event that originally caused the distress, but remember that you can’t think about how to deal with a situation properly when you are solely in your emotional mind. It cuts off your ability to reason fully. So if you can find a way to make yourself feel better, not only will it make it easier to handle the situation at hand, but you being happy is important. You are important. You really deserve to be happy and nothing is unfixable. There are steps you can take to feel better. You just have to give it a try. Note: This post and the information and links provided are not a replacement for real, medical treatment. Please do not stop taking your medication or change your dosage without your doctor’s consent or knowledge.If you are suicidal or thinking about harming yourself please call 911 or call the National Suicidal Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. (U.S. only. To find the suicidal hotline for your country, click here.)
- Listen to music
- Go for a walk
- Take a relaxing bath or shower
- Drink some tea
- Deep breathing (5 counts in, 5 counts out)
- Call/text a friend
- Meditate
- Stretch
- Think about something you are grateful for
- Make a list of things you are grateful for
- Watch a funny video
- Eat your favorite snack while savoring the flavors
- Take a nap
- Journal (write your thoughts/feelings) ….
DBT Self-Help Resources: Coping with Extreme Emotions
Tbh this is basically all you learn in rehab and psych wards
And in some cases it’s more…
↳ 1.01: Genesis
omg I want one x love them
Hi, OP here.
As in Original Poster.
As in the person that made this post.
Seriously?
SERIOUSLY!?
Did you really just delete my long paragraph about how The Joker and Harley are an example of an abusive relationship? And how Batman: The Animated Series (which is the show that those gifs are from) originally created Harley Quinn to be in an abusive relationship with The Joker? That the point of her entire character was to show that she was in an abusive relationship!? And that Hot Topic should be ashamed of selling these shirts because someone is going to not understand that it’s an abusive relationship and think that it’s okay. Did you SERIOUSLY REMOVE THAT AND REPLACE IT WITH “OMG I WANT ONE X LOVE THEM!?” For God’s sake! This is exactly what I was talking about!
I’m sorry! Usually I don’t get this worked up but…when I made the post, I thought to myself, “If one person…one person…misinterprets what an abusive relationship is because of these shirts…”
But then I thought, ‘No…no…it’ll be okay…’
Apparently I was right to have been worried.
We should all be worried.
OP here (again).
So I just got an email from Hot Topic about their new Valentine’s Day items. And guess what the theme was?
Unbelievable.
seriously tho between this and the 50 Shades of Grey hype, I am so disturbed by the amount of entertainment media geared towards promoting, validating, and even celebrating abusive relationships this Valentines Day.
^^^
I refuse to acknowledge joker. It’s always Harley and Ivy.
Anonymous asked:
oh hey bee tee dubs–ashkenazi jews are not an ethnic minority, and you are not a person of color. you're white. you're straight-up white. and claiming to not identify as such is super racist. you're adorbs, though.
girl-detective replied:
Nope, sorry.
First of all, before I “you know nothing, Jon Snow” your ass on the Jewish front, let it just be established that my Dad is biracial, so even if I wasn’t ¾ Ashkenazi, I wouldn’t be “straight-up white.” I’m part Desi, and you can’t erase that.
Secondly, Jews—be we Ashkenazi, Sephardi, Mizrahi, Cochin, Beta Israel, etc.—are all part of a distinct ethnoreligious group that makes up less than 0.2% of the world’s population. This is not just my own personal perception; this has been well-established in the scientific community through genetic testing.
Basically, all Jews (with the exception of people who have converted) are Semitic peoples descended from the Hebrew peoples of the Levant region (again, this is all scientifically confirmed). In this rendering of Jesus, done by anthropologists at the University of Manchester, you can see how the average Jew would have looked in roughly 30 CE:
Surprise! It’s a brown dude! Because neither Jesus nor any Hebrew Israelites were white.
So what happened? Well, in 70 CE The Romans expelled the Jews from ancient Israel, and we were forced into what is known as the Jewish Diaspora. We subsequently scattered all over the world, and through centuries of forced assimilation and rape (have you ever wondered why Jewishness is only passed on through the mother? It’s because of how often Jewish women were raped), we came to break into sub-ethnicities based on where we currently located. Ashkenazim were in Germany and Eastern Europe, Sephardim were in Spain and Portugal, Mizrahim were in the Middle East and Northern Africa, the Cochin were in India, the Beta Israel were in Ethiopia, etc. We no longer all looked alike, however, we still remained bonded by both Judaism itself and our inherited DNA (many of us still possess common traits, even among the post-Diasporic divides).
A recently study of Ashkenazi genes specifically determined that “despite [Ashkenazim’s] close ties with Europe, no more than half [46%] of their DNA comes from ancient Europeans, the researchers found…the rest of the Ashkenazi genome comes from the Middle East.”
Ergo, although most Ashkenazim appear to be white Europeans, our DNA tells a very different story (not even to mention that fact that we are still constantly racialised by gentiles—people love to tell me whether they think I do or do not “look Jewish” all the time).
Moreover, regardless of how Jews look and what part of the world we’ve lived in, we have been and continue to be “othered” by gentiles— particularly white ones—who have gone to great lengths to exclude white-passing Jews from the ranks of whiteness (there are certainly Jews of colour, including Ashkenazi Jews of colour, but you were obviously referring to white-passing Jews), through means of harassment, expulsion, and genocide. Of course, the Holocaust is the most obvious example of Jews being regarded as and killed for being non-white (I believe Hitler’s phrasing involved calling us unclean vermin who were a threat to the aryan race), but the Nazis were far from being the only group to persecute Ashkenazi Jews for being non-whites. In fact, the word “antisemitism” was coined in 1879 by writer and theorist Willhelm Marr, because he thought it sounded more “scientific” than “Judenhass” (Jew hate) and he really wanted to drive home the fact in his writings that we were non-white Middle Easterners.
Ironically (given the current political climate), the European concept of Ashkenazi Jews being non-white Middle Easterners was so common that there are countless examples of Jews all over Europe being told by the majority to “Go back to Palestine” where they came from. Here is graffiti on the window of a Jewish-owned shop in Norway:
It reads: “Palestine is calling. Jews are not tolerated in Norway.”
In 1902, there was a march through the Jewish quarters of London, where protesters shouted “Go back to Jerusalem.” Most likely, these Jews had all come to the UK from Russia or Ukraine, but they were still seen as non-white Middle Easterners in the eyes of the white Britons.
I did some personal genealogy research over the Summer and found the immigration records for some of my family members. Here is the transcription of the record for my great-Aunt Rose (at the time, known as Ruchel):
Did you catch it?
Race: Hebrew
That’s right, even in America, Jews were long considered a separate race from whites. This isn’t some distant relative I’ve never met before. This is my grandmother’s sister, whose kitchen table I used to sit at while she baked mandel bread. This is the sister of my great-Aunt Sophie, who is currently 98 and still remembers when signs in front of hotels said “No Negroes, No Jews.”
Now, I realise that I look white to most people, and there is absolutely no denying that I am a beneficiary of the white privilege that exists in American society. That fact is absolutely NOT in dispute. However, I can and do identify as a white-passing beneficiary of white privilege rather than as a white person—not just because of my genetics, not just because of my history—but because a whole lot of white people have made it pretty damn clear to me over the years that I’m not one of them. I grew up in a somewhat conservative, predominantly white environment, and the number of kids and adults alike who acted like I lied to them upon learning I was Jewish was, in retrospect, kind of disturbing.
And while yes, I have privileges many people of colour do not have, I also don’t have the full range of white privilege, in that I don’t automatically make everybody’s “white person” list and therefore can’t walk through through certain places without wondering if I’m going to have my ass kicked if anybody “finds me out.”
White-looking Ashkenazi Jews are not exactly people of colour, and I never said we were. We live in a strange limbo in which we’re neither white enough for white, or non-white enough for non-white. However, we are an ethnic minority and we do have the right to identify as white-passing given our DNA, our history, and the way white people still regard us and treat us.
I appreciate your concern and I’m sure you meant this from a place of constructive social justice criticism, but you’re 100% wrong about Jewishness as an ethnicity, and hence, you’re identity policing an ethnic minority. That is super racist, so please stop.
And yes, I am adorbs. Thanks for noticing.
I hope less people suffer by their painful past.
zuky:
“Those who identify as ‘otaku’ [i.e. anime and manga fandom] sicken me deeply. Anime was a mistake, it’s nothing but trash.”
— Hayao MiyazakiThe great Miyazaki is somewhat famous for his sweeping dismissals, but I believe there’s political substance behind his curt condemnations of mainstream culture.
Miyazaki abhors a certain strain of Japanese nationalism which has seen something of a resurgence in recent years and crept into the chaotic free-for-all of anime and manga storytelling. He’s been a vocal critic of prime minister Shinzō Abe’s politics, including the denial of Japanese war crimes and sex slavery, the ceremonial honouring of Japanese war criminals, and the proposal to amend the Constitution to re-introduce the possibility of war.
As it stands, the Constitution of Japan includes the remarkable Article 9 which outlaws war — a measure which was forcefully imposed by the US after dropping two atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Needless to say, there’s something twisted about achieving a ban on war by means of an atomic holocaust; but Miyazaki, a child of World War II and its horrors, supports the ban.
Miyazaki is equally critical of the US. When “Spirited Away” won an Oscar in 2003, he refused to travel to Hollywood to accept the award, later explaining “I didn’t want to visit a country that was bombing Iraq”.
So I don’t think Miyazaki is simply being an eccentric moody artist when he says things like “Anime was a mistake, it’s nothing but trash”. I think he has specific opinions and critiques of craft and storytelling, message and values, politics and culture, as conveyed by art.
that’s actually why i despise it when western anime fans reblog the quote “anime was a mistake”. not only is it just irritating, but they have no idea what it actually entails in their western frame of view.
anime is largely bad. yeah. a lot of it provides for largely a older male audience and includes a lot of fetishism and blatant imperialist content.
how many times have any of you seen scenes in anime where the background changes to something similar to sun rays to show motivation? how many of you know that it’s a direct reference to the rising sun flag. the flag in which the “asian holocaust” was created under. how many times have you actually seen the flag outright in anime?
how many of you still praise ouran highschool host club when they literally portrayed feminists as nazis, which is bad enough but considering japan’s past?
how many of you watch attack on titan, which is pure imperialist propaganda?
how many of you, yeah our followers as well, watch hetalia? the whole premise of the show being nazi and imperialist apologism and when the creator literally said before that he thinks that the rest of asia wants to/should be under imperial japanese rule again.
how many of you watch anime that has a shallow chinese or korean character(s) or a sexy korean/chinese girl in a bastardized, revealing rendition of their traditional dress?
yeah. most of anime is shit. it’s total trash for what a huge portion of the industry has stood for, producing widespread scenes of rape, pedophilia, fetishism. it continues to promote either borderline to outright nationalistic attitudes, and still dehumanizes chinese and korean characters.
“ but does it matter?” you ask. it matters when there are still marches in japan happening this decade that celebrate hitler’s birthday. that there are still marches this decade that promote the drowning of chinese and koreans in the bays and killing us.
what happened to japan as a nation during the meiji reformation and after the war with the occupation was inhumane. there’s not excuse for it. but imperialism is still alive and well in japan.
and huge portions of the anime industry is built off it.
this is why i hate white western fans reblog this quote out of context. this is why i hate all of you saying “i hate anime teehee” as you marathon snk and no game no life on kissanime.
because you don’t. you’re joking. there are real reasons to hate the industry. and you’re turning it into a joke. you call yourselves “weebs” to “reclaim” the term, purposefuly ignoring how so many **young** asian people have been harmed by the term. japanese people being sexually assaulted by white self proclaimed weebs with yellow fever in their own country. little fucking kids stalked online and in real life by self proclaimed weebs with loli/shotacon fetishes. then you log onto tumblr and say that it’s “not really pedophilia” over fanart like it’s not part of one big system. somewhere out there, a young asian girl may be crying after being forced to webcam at the age of 9.
and if you did mean it, then what? if you did mean you hated it, then what? you hate it for every reason but a right one.
you’re not addressing a problem by reblogging that quote as a joke. you’re part of it.
Anonymous asked:
The post about are Jews poc is wrong because America centric terms are useless to describe a very diverse ethnic group that don't fit and pre-exist these notions of racial hierarchy. Antsemitism oppresses Jews on racial-ethnic motivations, and is motivated by white supremacy. Even Jews who benefit from white privilege are conditionally white AT BEST and are hurt by white supremacy in other ways. And people racialized as white in the USA are not racialized thus elsewhere
reverseracism replied:
Thank you for your contribution:
Would anyone else of Jewish origin like to contribute?
- STM
This is true but I won’t comment
Yea some Jews in America can certainly benefit from white privilege because of how white supremacy operates in the USA. Those benefits don’t give white-passing Jews equal (or, as some people absurdly claim) more privilege than white people—Jews as a whole are still excluded from whiteness & actively harmed by white supremacy based on ethnic/racial anti-Semitism.
Conditional white privilege is afforded to white-passing Jews in a temporal way—as in, if you aren’t too overt about your Jewishness in some social settings, you will be afforded white privilege; however, it can change literally according to the whims of non-Jewish white people, and there’s this consistent point of view that even if the non-Jewish white people let the Jews ‘be’ one of them them temporarily, it’s shaky and you’re expected to deal with the violence, anti-Semitism, and overall any sort of oppressive behavior. If you don’t, white-passing or not, you will be non-white. It’s according to behavior, setting, ‘acting Jewish,’ assimilation of all kinds, etc.
This is me speaking from a point of view of a Jewish family that ranges from white-passing Jews to black Jews. I have seen how conditional white privilege works with Jews, and while it’s much better than how my black Jewish relatives are treated, it doesn’t mean that white-passing Jews get to be automatically aligned with white supremacy and shielded from harm—I still have white-passing cousins who get called Khazarian impostors who are invading the white race (for the record, my white-passing cousins aren’t European, they are West Asian), are called kikes on the regular, and are the targets of violence.
Conditional white privilege for Jews in America is also highly, highly location based. In New York City, someone with stereotypically “Jewish,” often Ashkenazi features will read as white. In backwoods Virginia? Not so much. I read as white if I do my makeup the right way and straighten my hair, and I don’t say anything that makes my Jewishness explicit. As soon as I do so, my reception here in the South changes — I go from educated, articulate woman to A Jew. And that is open season. It means I get asked if my hair hides my horns. It means I get asked if I have a trust fund, or if I got in college/grad school because my parents are donors. (My parents are actually working class, thanks. Not all Sephardim got here early and prospered. Some of us are still dealing with language barriers and being alienated from the dominant Ashkenazi culture that surrounds American Judaism.) I had students in the Midwest come up to me after class and tell me I was the first Jew they’d ever seen and I “didn’t look like” what they thought Jews looked like, because I didn’t have “you know, the big nose.” I’ve had people throw pennies at me. I got the crap beat out of me repeatedly in school because Jews were running the world. I’ve had people track down my information on the internet to send me death threats because Hitler should’ve finished the job. That is not white privilege.
Antisemitism is really complex, but the thing that is critical to remember is that it grew out of the emergent “science” of racism in the 18th and 19th centuries. As white, European men set out to sort the world into tidy taxonomies, people were also sorted. And Jews, as Europe’s long-standing, much maligned social Other, were understood to be something else. Not white. Not Aryan. Not like Western European Christians. And in the moment when race developed, the sense that Jews could never shake their Jewishness, that it was something in their blood, and conversion to Christianity couldn’t fix it, that was when earlier, religious anti-Judaism turned into modern antisemitism. Antisemitism is wholly race and ethnicity based. And while it is mediated by culture in the same way that many forms of racism are, given distinct forms in distinct places and times, it is based on the idea that Jews are biologically “something other,” in the same way that Asians are “something other.”
Jews in the US have only taken on the status of “model minorities” tending into conditional white privilege since the Holocaust. So whenever you want to talk about Jews being white, remember this: it took the attempted genocide of the Jewish population of Europe to give American Jews the ability to not be subjected to quotas in housing, university slots, and to be accepted into American social institutions — if only grudgingly. America was still dealing with accusations of “blood libel” — in which Jews are accused of murdering Christian children to use their blood in festival food, primarily Passover matzah — in the 1920s. This is not the distant past. This is within living memory. But with the Holocaust showing the full end game of antisemitism, Americans recoiled and tried to act as if they weren’t anything like Nazis and American Jews were always flourishing here.
White America pointed to the way assimilated American Jews had prospered and decided that Jews were doing just fine — and then turned our apparent prosperity into a stick to beat other minority groups with. (This is not dissimilar to how the Irish became white, but made complex by the fact that Jews are still, to use a legal sense, a distinct, insular minority.) In order to obtain that conditional whiteness and thereby prosperity and access offered by white America, Jews must assimilate. They must stop observing Judaism in traditional ways and act more like their Christian neighbours. (This is not unlike how German Jews learned to prosper in the 19th century. But given Germany’s history, it is safe to say that trading assimilation for begrudging acceptance is the devil’s bargain.)
What I really want to point out is this: Jewish identity in America is intersectional. In some cases, we benefit from white privilege, or we may be white-passing. However, we are oppressed by Christian privilege, often violently. (FBI hate crime statistics back this up.) It does not matter how observant or not Jews are; we are lumped in a group of “not Christian,” and as a consequence, we are forced to adhere to Christian social scripts, Christian calendars, Christian values if we are to interact with American society at large. (And when we don’t, we’re accused of being clannish or exhibiting cult-like behaviour.) We are expected to smile and give approval to Christians appropriating our culture, rituals, language, and holidays. We are lumped in as an afterthought as the imaginary American “Judeo-Christian” heritage. We are Other, tolerated, objectified, or spoken over on a religious axis. When Jews do not have white/white-passing privilege, we then suffer from more oppression when racial and religious oppression fall down on us. Which makes this complex, and often leads to this tension where those who are not part of the Jewish community see the image of primarily New York Jews, accepted as part of the city’s fabric, and project that Judaism is only oppressed on a religious axis, if it is oppressed at all. But when you are part of the community and have a legacy of oppression, suffering, forced conversion, death marches, assaults, and microaggressions, both for your religious beliefs and for how Jewish or not you look, how white or not you are perceived to be, it is immediately and viscerally apparent how intersectional, conditional, and fraught Jewish identity is in the United States.
We are a contested people, constantly defined by those outside of our communities and expected to accept their definitions in order to access the privilege they offer in return for our docile agreement. We are often model minorities, held up as what other oppressed groups should be like, obscuring our struggles right now for the Holocaust, the one white Americans feel comfortable talking about, talking over, appropriating and fetishizing. So to say that Jews are a religious group, not a category of race or ethnicity, that serves to obscure the intersectionality of our existence in America, and it only contributes to the idea that Jews must be one thing and one thing only in order to be appropriately Jewish in the US — pale skinned, Eastern European, not too religious, and urban. But for the rest of us, out in the parts of the States where none of those things save us from violence, that definition from other oppressed folks does far, far more harm than good.
『 海月姫 / Princess Jellyfish 』 (Film 2014)
“Expert” Karen Armstrong says murdering Jews in Paris has nothing to do with Jew-hatred
Karen Armstrong is a historian and “religion expert” who is a consistent apologist for radical Islam, and a frequent guest on TV programs. She has a lucrative career speaking and writing about religion.
In a recent interview, she makes this outrageous claim:We’re piling all the violence of the 21st Century on the back of religion, sending it away, saying we have nothing to do with religion. While we still have to deal with the political situation. The supermarket attack in Paris was about Palestine, about Isis. It had nothing to do with antisemitism; many of them are Semites themselves. But they attempt to conquer Palestine and we’re not talking about that. We’re too implicated and we don’t know what to do with it.Are the kosher-consumer French Jews guilty because they support Jews living in their historic homeland, or because most of them will end up moving to Israel because of these types of attacks on their stores and schools and synagogues tht have nothing to do with anyone hating Jews?
OK, maybe the “they” in that sentence referred only to Jews in general, or unnamed “Zionists.” Her use of the incredibly stupid “they are semites themselves” argument shows that Armstrong has no intellectual honesty whatsoever.
Who knows what goes through her mind as she tries to justify widespread Arab antisemitism and incitement (as I have documented time and time again)? Clearly, Armstrong doesn’t care about the human rights of Jews to make a statement like this.
When you use “scholarship” to consistently justify terrorism and tear down others, then it isn’t scholarship.
(h/t Yair Rosenberg)fuck goyim
Durarara!!x2 Shou: ED card